been having talks with friends. talks with friends are good. weird to combat the feeling of being utterly alone with the feeling of being not. the feeling of not being sure where you fit or whether you fit anywhere not as quite as inviting as the feeling of being sure you don't fit, you don't fit anywhere. but i think i'm responsible enough by now to be honest with myself. i'm going to miss human physical contact for a while, i think. remember kat and shu telling me back in cegep: it's worse when you know what you're missing. almost lost it last night after prod was done, waiting to leave with everyone, when i remembered that there's no one i can spoon with anymore. who knows how long til i spoon again. i'm gonna try not to rush it, though. i think that's the important thing.