February 27th. Thought the Sun.

I am all about the lyrics to 'Archers' by Brand New right now. Do I know what they are exactly? No. Vaguely? Yes. I am easily swayed by nice drums and harmonies and this and that. Musical terms I don't fully grasp and never will. I'm an aesthete. I know sonic beauty when I sees it.

My sister is 18 now. I think my non-living at home has done her a world of good, but a lot of that I'm sure was just time and friends and the little right decisions that come from seeing situations and knowing which move to make this time around. Anyway I am really happy about the person she's become and about the person she'll have become a year from now or two years from now. I am dreaming of being avuncular to the beautiful children she'll have. I was never named Hank, I never worked for the DEA, I will never live in Albuquerque, but what should go unsaid will go double for me. I can make good, just like that. Snap. I'm twenty, it's as good a time as any to have a mid-life crisis.

I had a good talk with Shirine about attraction and how my little stupidities are maybe sometimes not so stupid. It's nice to feel those hands on my mind's shoulders, the towel, and the reassuring voice in my ear. I can take 'im down in the next round and I can be suave in the round after that and maybe before long the judges decide it's a technical take-out. In the stands there are middle-aged men who have staked their hard earned dollar amounts on my wordplay and they are sweating and chanting my name inside of the caverns that are their skulls. And if I lose? Hey, we're men. We never get anything right on the first try.

I'll see you next time, though. And that's clean money; a tax write-off.