incredible how lonely you can feel, though. i forgot about this entirely. i know a lot of it's because i've been sick and staying at home on the internet or trying to get to sleep and either succeeding or failing but i forgot, just forgot, about the brutal loneliness you can have, the way it pushes up against your skull and you forget everything else. like how you'll be happy again at some point, how you'll feel wanted again at some point, how you'll feel safe and comforted at some point. all this in time.