i dunno if i have any big wrap-up thoughts. 2012 was a calendar year. there were some shifts and trends and stuff. there were some one-offs and some moments. i learned some things about myself and forgot some things. same goes for the world at large. i don't know if i feel like a better person or better version of the person i was this time last year. i feel maybe less vulnerable but also maybe more like i'm getting unavoidably trapped behind all my walls. more than anything i'm starting to feel old, like i'm just not young anymore. just into the big void of 'nothing' that is the mid- to late-twenties. you can't be a child prodigy at anything anymore at this age. if you're good at anything it's like, 'okay, cool' and if you're not then you should feel bad. i realized last post that this blog has quickly become something like 'alex's naked ambition on sad display' and it's doubly sad because it's not even like, big-time naked ambition, it's really provincial, it's all small potatoes. maybe... nah, there isn't quite a resolution there, i don't think. maybe next year.