Fuck it.

Today was a perfect example of a few of the things that are wrong with Alex.

1) He's unable to cross certain boundaries, to put himself in certain positions in which he refuses to be. Case in point, I hate the awkwardness that arises when other people won't fucking keep to themselves and shut the fuck up. Nobody's really sure of themselves and you can cut the idiocy of the situation with a knife. Everyone has to pretend that they don't mind this stranger isn't respecting the unwritten rules of society.

2) Once something like that has started, and I refuse to sit at the back of the bus and pretend while the fucker acts like a bull in a china shop, I can't show the other people on the bus that I'm weak, I can't explain why I didn't sit with you. So at that point I have to stay at the middle of the bus for the whole ride.

3) Once it's over, I realize what an idiot I'm being and I get really depressed, and I'm in a bad mood for the next few hours.

It's not cool.

Fucking ugh.

Not to mention it ruined a perfectly good day where it was only a half-day, I did well on the French homework and I might've passed the test, I had my iPod, everything was going smooth, and then some idiot on the bus fucks me up and I finish the job for him.

Fuck.

Shit like that totally makes me depressed. I can't just brush it off like other people, I refuse to put up with it and it makes me look like an anti-social idiot instead of a person with limits, like everyone else. They're strange limits, yeah, but they're biggies and I react very badly when I'm in a situation like that. It's happened before and it always makes me look bad. I just... can't.

In the spirit of having to get some emotional pain off my chest,

Pushed - (Not Infinity Minus One)

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I'm sorry but now I guess it
Looks like I'm an asshole again

I have my boundaries, I'm not willing to go there
If that makes me look like an idiot,
Then so be it.
And now it looks like I'm an asshole again.
I'm sorry if you can't accept the way I am
But don't label me an asshole because
I have boundaries I don't cross
I don't cross

I'm sorry but now I guess it
Looks like I'm an asshole again
Looks like I'm an asshole again
Looks like I'm an asshole again
Looks like I'm an asshole again
I'm sorry but now I guess it
Looks like I'm an asshole again
Looks like I'm an asshole again

Don't try to force me across the line
Stopping where I stop is my choice
Don't tell me not to raise my voice
Don't try to force me across the line

I'm sorry...

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No rockin' at all,

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