Depression was back in semi-full force, so yeah my life lately has been getting less & less enjoyable (****SUICIDE WARNING W00P W00P****) and it's only going to get worse when we start actually working at school, though I must say I'm glad that we've had a longer reprieve from full-fledged school workloads than usual this year.
Aaanyway, things on the um (pick a front) front are not going anywhere. You'd think maybe this would incite me to do something, eh, Them, huh, huh? Well obviously not, it only crushes my soul a little further. (at this point my boo hoo guru makes fun of me for being such a teenager or something like that. XP it's all love satchel) I'm listening to Sum 41 and my heart it bleeds napalm (****THE ST00GES REFERENCE****) and no good lyrics lately.
Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up, and I'll be 16, barring a time-freeze ala Help! I'm stuck on the first day of school! book or my heart randomly stopping in the night (or a ninja attack, eh, Them?) and jack shit will be different. Birthdays are so full of shit. I get disappointed when my consumer whorish needs aren't met so I take on a magnanimous (XP) attitude and say I don't want anything, it's no big deal, and you know what I realized, it really freaking isn't. The big changes never have anything to do with your birthday, except maybe your 18th, they take place when you grow as a person, not as a number, so I resent the whole make-belief parade that birthday parties are, but I put up with my family because they'd be all disappointed if I didn't acknowledge that tomorrow is a speshul day.
Barf.
In the mean time, I dunno, listen to Rage Against the Machine - Bombtrack.
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1 comment:
Stooges reference +2pts
Ninjas on your lawn trying to kill you +7pts
Using Word of day +4pts
Awknowledging the Consumerism of Birthdays +1pts
Talking about something as stupid as suicide -a billion pts
Good job.
So here are some lyrics, particularly fitting to the post cause you lacked the ability to put them.
"
Flowers are pretty before they get shitty,
and rot and turn to dust
I heard that life is a wheel and you can't make it stop
If you try it'll flatten your head
It's a circle of shit we're in the middle of it
but soon we'll all be dead
Like everybody else that ever lived before,
the things you make fall to the floor
and nobody knows how hard you tried,
it's been that way since the start of time-
There was a caveman that did some amazing things
but nobody here gives a fuck
And in a thousand years they'll feel the same
towards all the things you've done"
Flowers are Pretty - The vandals
I leave you with that.
Them
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